Criticisms!
– Zig Ziglar
“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.”
I once kept 2 jars on my table.
The first one had a “RED” sticker on it and the second one had a “GREEN” sticker on it.
Every time somebody appreciated my work even in a small way, I would drop a small green ball into the second jar and whenever somebody ridiculed me, humiliated me, looked down upon me, or, bullied me, I would drop a RED ball into the first jar.
At the end of the year, after I put down my plans for the next year, I went back to the jars and counted the balls in each one of the jars.
The number of balls in the RED jar was obviously more than the ones in the GREEN jar. There was nothing surprising about it.
But I was surprised at the fact that it wasn’t as wide a gap as I had expected.
There was something even more surprising.
I could easily recollect and remember every one of those instances when I dropped a RED ball into the jar but I could hardly recollect the instance when I dropped a GREEN ball into the jar.
Why?
Because we give too much importance to all of those ridicule, humiliation, and bad criticisms. And little or, no importance to all of those appreciations or, good words that somebody spoke about you.
Not your mistake, though!
Our minds are programmed like that by default.
So if you need to change, you have to deliberately attempt to change the default.
It isn’t easy though!
You will have to put in a lot of effort and be extremely deliberate about it.
When my wife, Puja started her food blog, “The Tastes of India”, it was a tough journey for her. She was often asked why she was wasting her time doing something useless.
There were people who would sarcastically ask her, “When is your next million coming?”.
And then there were a few others who would advise her by saying, “If you had spent the same time in a job, you would have earned at least a lakh (sarcastically undermining her value) by now.”
It wasn’t easy for her.
But she endured and focused on her goal.
That’s how she reached where she is today.
So the next time when you hear a negative comment or, a sarcastic tip, consider the source!
Do you consider the person worthy enough of giving heed to?
If not, then ignore it as if it never happened.
I love this quote from one of Alfred Tennyson’s works –
“Once in a golden hour
― Alfred Lord Tennyson
I cast to earth a seed.
Up there came a flower,
The people said, a weed.”
Nobody will ever be able to relate to what you are doing.
Creativity is a difficult thing to understand.
When people look at a sculptor, all they see is him chiseling on a piece of rock. But the sculptor already knows how his finished work will look and he is already seeing it in the rock.
If he were to consider the passerby’s words and quit in between, he will never be able to finish his work.
So, stay focused on what you are doing.
Here are 3 simple methods that I used to shift my focus from the negatives to the positives –
Visual Reminders
You can use physical tokens (like jars) to measure feedback. Make a conscious attempt to look at your GREEN jar and all of the balls you have placed inside it.
Take time to appreciate yourself for all of those positive feedback that you have received.
This technique makes positive feedback tangible and harder to ignore.
Reflect Regularly
This technique can work wonders if you do it regularly.
Set aside daily time to review achievements, not just setbacks.
Balance your perspective by acknowledging what went right.
You can include this into your daily journaling practice or, into your daily review if you are doing one.
Jot down things that has moved the needle. Also jot down things that brought in positive feedback from people, if any.
Reflect on them and give yourself a pat on your back.
Filter Feedback
Not all feedback is constructive.
You might want to consider the source of criticism before letting it affect you. Dismiss noise from those not aligned with your values or goals.
Focus on the feedback that can help your grow and work on those.
To Conclude:
Remember, it’s about recalibrating our focus to empower, not discourage.
Go ahead. You are doing great!
You are in the process of creating something amazing!
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Found on the internet
Here’s what I found on the internet this week.
Taking time off and recharging yourself is an essential part of content creation. There used to be a time when I would feel guilty about spending an hour a week watching a favorite series of mine.
It wasn’t conscious though. It was something that happened automatically because I considered everything else a waste of time.
When I learned the importance of refueling and recharging, my perspective changed.
This Linkedin Post about refueling is something you will like!
If you never quit, you will never lose. This is a piece of advice I got from one of my mentors long back.
While there is more to it than just continuing, the fact that staying in the game can help you achieve your goals is unquestionable.
This tweet is something that emphasizes this fact.
If you liked it, then you can give it a retweet here!
What am I reading?
The last week was a little rough for me. I couldn’t spend as much time reading as I would usually do.
So the book I picked up last is something I am continuing to read. It is 2 weeks now and am way behind my reading goals.
If you missed my last edition and didn’t know which book I was reading, it is below!
“Essentialism” is an amazing read if you would like to focus on what’s important and eliminate the un-important!
I am speaking at the “Podup Podcast Virtual Summit”. I will share more details about it in due course!
Also, I was interviewed on “Indian Podcasting Revolution” where I spoke about affiliate marketing a lot. You might want to give it a listen here!
That’s it for this week!
Do let me know your thoughts, feedback, and opinion about this newsletter.
